Back to the Future

Apparently old people get cold easily; really cold, really easily. I guess it is because they are losing all of their muscle, and then their skin starts hanging off of their bones. You know what I am talking about. And ladies, if you think that the “relief society arms” are bad now, just think about being 80 years old…not only will your triceps be wobbly, there will that additional layer of stretchy skin hanging from your wobbly underarm. Ah, the things we have to look forward to because of the aging process…


Another great part of aging is the deterioration of one’s hearing. Now, this affects everyone differently, my Nana is 88 years old and she can hear just fine. However, my Grandma Church, who is approximately 92 years old (I can’t get an exact age, because she doesn’t tell anyone how old she is, and if you ask…man, prepare for the lecture of a lifetime) so she can’t hear worth beans. I will get home from work, walk inside the house, the dogs will run around barking and acting all excited, and unless Grandma is facing me she won’t know that I am home. More often than not, her back will be facing me, I will say, “hello Grandma” in a loud voice, and she won’t hear me. So then if I come out of my room 15 minutes later she will think that I just got home. Ok, so that isn’t really a big deal, but just think about trying to communicate with her. If you want her to hear what you say you have to practically yell. And carrying on a conversation where you have to yell in order for the other person to hear makes the thought of conversation…not so enjoyable. Thus, I have learned to only speak to Grandma when absolutely necessary, and to respond to her in the fewest words possible; I have become quite stingy with my words. Right, so hearing loss is something you want to avoid at all costs.


One thing that is good about aging: you get to eat whatever you want to, if we are going by my Grandma’s eating habits that is. One morning a few weeks ago, Grandma was in a really crazy and foul mood, she had been yelling and such, but luckily I left to go to work, so I didn’t have to deal with it…at least not too much. In an effort to pacify her, my dad asked her if she wanted some pancakes, which he had made, for breakfast. Of course she adamantly said “no!” Then about an hour later my dad went into the kitchen to find his mother with the syrup, drinking it straight out of the bottle. In case that story wasn’t enough to convince you, here is another one. This past Sunday my parents were at church, and I was getting ready for church so my Grandma didn’t realize that I was home. As I walked down the stairs I could see that she had a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch, but instead of milk she had poured syrup and whipped cream on it. Wow, talk about a sugar high!


We hear people talk about how aging causes people to revert back to a child-like state, in that they need help with basic life sustaining behavior, as well as losing bladder control, taking naps, etc. And for my Grandma, she has reverted to the 2 or 3 year old stage and now only wants to eat sugary food. Tonight I am on “Grandma duty” so I have to make dinner. I was thinking I’d make spaghetti of some sort, but based upon this Grandma would probably be happier if I just gave her a bowl of sugar, glass of syrup, and plate of whipped cream…hmmm…it does seem like that would be easier…